Nothing More Fun

than scaring the bejezus out of immature college boys. Thanks to training, I can lower my voice and project it to the rear wall of a mid-sized theatre.  So when the illegal partying boys – fools enough to open a window onto the street allowing me to see in, light a joint I enter the door of my building.  In reaction to my knocking on the door of unit #1 with majestic authority, the occupants inside immediately stopped talking and hold their collective breaths.  You could cut the air.  I wait to see if someone will stir and open the door.  No movement.  In a voice to make a director weep, “This is a smoke-free building.  Put out the smokes or we call the cops.”  Beat. A penitent male voice answers  “Sorry, I didn’t know”.  “Put it out now,” i reply, “Or the cops come.”  “it’s out.” says the small voice.  Beat.  I continue, “You do know this unit, this apartment, is under police surveillance, the police can show up at anytime!” [This is true there is a code violation and an illegal Airbnb being operated out of this unit and the police show up at random to issue the renter a violation ticket.]  Small male voice, “I’m sorry i didn’t know.”  “Well, it’s true,”  I reply, then add,  “There is a whole lot more you don’t know!”  Silence. I wait.  Silence. Quietly I turn away and tip-toe up the stairs to my apartment.  From a not too deeply hidden place, arises a contented chuckle.  We LOL’s  find joy in the most unlikely of places!

Since then, have heard the closing of doors as the party of males moves on to a place where there is less likelihood perhaps of a police raid.  This weekend is the welcoming of new students to the NYU campus.